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Good day lovers and friends..

How is everybody doing? It’s frustratingly cold today, and I’m so excited that it’s a holiday tomorrow! I’m gonna lay in bed all day and stuff my face with Chinese food!! 2nd day I’m craving Chow Mein, Springrolls and Pork Belly.. It must be the weather..So today, I got an email from Pretty, my friend – asking me random questions about if I’d take my ex back.. this is the ex that was written about a couple of posts back.. I did say he was thought to be the great love of my life.. The dude did play a big part in my life, for about 3 years.. and I stopped thinking about getting back together a while back.. I try not to think about it now.. it’s just a futile exercise, and thus my answer was, No.. I wouldn’t be interested in getting back together with him.. Reasons being I’m at a different place now, and I’d like to think I’ve grown, and need different things.. And I just don’t give a fuck about him anymore..
Before that though, I was pretty pathetic, yeah I was.. Every song that was sad and talking about heartbreak, was a reference to our relationship.. I used to call dude ALL THE TIME, and he never really reciprocated, or showed the same interest, I don’t know what I was thinking.. I really made a fool of myself.. Sometimes it feels like I was Drunk Texting him for three years.. oh and I used to do lots of that.. DRUNK DIALING was my thing! I’d call him up, and let him know how he was never gonna get anyone like me in his life, I guess he didn’t really want someone like me hey? lmao.. Not until I didn’t want him anymore.

Surprisingly, most women, no matter how well together they are, go through what I did.. When something ends so suddenly, we struggle to let it go.. Don’t argue, just accept.. I know my friends do.. hehehe.. One of them, did what I did.. she’d call a man who ignored her calls, with different numbers, and just frustrate herself even more, when he answered those that weren’t hers.. but the funniest thing looking back, is how she wanted to move provinces and start over.. the girl was 22 at the time, and she was prepared to uproot herself for a man.. mara.. 

It’s all good and well now, we’re over it.. but for a while, we did hope they’d come back.. Now I’m wondering why? Why we couldn’t be at ease with the fact that those bastards didn’t want us.. I’m a lot more honest with myself now, and have ACKNOWLEDGED and ACCEPTED why it wouldn’t work NOW – here’s why..

  • Planes don’t fly backwards..
  • He didn’t want me for 3 years – only in the 4th, not satisfied with HIS reasons..
  • I can’t ever trust him to not repeat the things he did, thought and said..
  • My value has increased..
  • Nothing beats the first time, that dream is over..

So if you’re going through a breakup now, or can’t get over that man that has jilted you, remember – hearts don’t really break, it’s just your ego..  More than that, we’ve always said, “If people can divorce after 18 years, a mortgage, children and pets, we really can deal with just a guy”..

You can’t force anyone who doesn’t want to be a part of your life to stay, and honestly,how fun can it be trying to please someone who isn’t interested? Be careful that you aren’t in love with an idea.. or maybe with who they were, people change and you don’t wanna waste your life getting them back, only to find out they aren’t suited to you..you’ll resent them for something they can’t help..

I promised myself after that, that I’d never fall apart, just so someone can play hero and put me together again.. Not in this lifetime..

Have a warm evening..

With Love..

Z