Hello dearest friends!
Wow it’s been a while… NINETEEN DAYS to be exact!! I’m so sorry.. I’ve been bad.. I just struggled with writing anything that made sense.. and I’m still struggling.. I guess I forced myself today, to try.. bear with me..
It’s been a funny couple of weeks for me, emotionally.. I’ve been doing a lot of introspection about where my life is, and how I got here.. it’s been depressing.. My journey has had so many delays, wrong turns, bad pit stops and has just been draining.. I thought I was Ok, but I’ve realised lately that I’m not. I’m feeling so despondent and it’s cause my life is stagnant.. I’m stuck.. I made a few wrong choices after High School, and during my first year of varsity, that have just made everything spiral out of control, and I don’t know how to fix things.
I’m a very competitive person, especially because I know my potential, and I hate being less than I’m meant to be.. I hate losing, especially when I know I’m a winner.. and I hate admitting defeat.. and right now, life is beating me 100.. I’m a nice person, why isn’t my life reflective of that??
Whatever the reason, it is what it is, and sooner or later, I gotta pick up the pieces and make the best outta my life.. the first is being honest with myself.. I need to let go of my mistakes and move on from that.. I need to remind myself of my dreams, and I need to find the courage somewhere to pursue them, and get back to my plan.. Most of all – I need to find my smile.. free from thought, free from worry, free from anger and sadness and all these negative feelings and thoughts that are anchoring me down.
Thank you for being patient with me..
Healing starts now..