Hello dear friends,
I do hope everyone has been keeping well.. 🙂 It’s been a quiet week thus far, nothing amazing or remotely memorable has happened, hope that changes soon! I’ve been back to watching Girlfriends for a while now.. *since the IT people forgot to switch off the access to YouTube*..*evil laugh*.. and for those who don’t know, Girlfriends and Sex and the City, are my “How To Live” manuals.. yes – most of my ideas about this life thing are formed from two sitcoms about two groups of women, black and white, and their issues around friendship, work, success, RELATIONSHIPS, and love.. all with a comedic undertone, and a generous sprinkle of fashion..
So if you’ve ever wondered where my incredible sense of humor, style or just general wisdom come from, No it’s not from gum wrap.. it is from 8 ladies, navigating incredibly real situations, I go through on a day to day.. 🙂
Which brings me to my favorite topic… Well.. I have plenty, but for today, Its an all in one.. YAY! MEN AND MONEY.. haha! I have an awkward relationship with two of the above mentioned, I seldom have one or the other.. Sometimes it’s men..no money.. most times it’s money, but no men..and on occasion, it’s men without money.. LOL! Needless to say, I have no issues, no wait – that’s a lie.. I have deep issues when it comes to money.. My view on money in relationships is, WE SHOULD BOTH HAVE OUR OWN!
A couple of weeks ago, I was at a friends event, where her other friends were in attendance, and eventually the conversation went into the direction of Men and Money.. I wasn’t at all surprised to hear the views they presented, as I’d had plenty of similar conversations with numerous females, friends and strangers.. What the ladies were saying was, a mans role in relationship is to be the provider, which I have absolutely no issue with, I truly and fully support that notion, but my question was – what then, becomes of the woman’s financial role in a relationship?
Yes I dared to ask that, and I was met with confused, almost shocked faces, at the thought that I would dare assume, a woman has any monetary responsibility in a relationship.. You guys should know and understand – that I am not on any level comfortable being with broke men, because more often than not, they’re leeches.. Broke men tend to be too comfortable having things done for them, funny cause I really don’t mind doing the very same things for a man I know has money.. That’s my issue right there, I am the breed of female, that has the need to let a man know – I got mine boo boo..
I honestly believe that when you are in a relationship, not a marriage – you have no business EXPECTING a man to give you money, or pay for big things like your education, your mortgage or car.. yes he may, if he offers and genuinely wants to, trust – I will not say no to those, but I also believe that when a man gives you money, you give him CONTROL.
I was also raised with the idea, that you should never have anyone do for you what you can do for yourself, and that if you cannot afford it – you can go without. So again I ask, what is a womans role in a relationship? Is it a bad thing that I LIKE to pay? I know a man has to be a Provider, a Protector and Professor.. as in profess his love at all times for you, and woman should be the nurturer, the keeper, the sensual lover and a lot more than those three P’s.. but isn’t all that reserved for marriage? Why would you, as a working woman, want any man to claim to have taken care of you at any point in your life? Would it really kill you to pick up the bill for one lousy meal?
In my dream relationship, I’d love to have a man who respects money as I much as I do, who understands that his role as my boyfriend – is not to support me financially, but eventually as my husband, it will be to ensure security and stability. Same as he should understand that he will buy the whole damn cow, if he wants some milk..and no, I’m not using “Milk” as a metaphor for sex, I meant other things, like cooking, cleaning and washing..
I’m a woman, and I like the idea of gifts, pretty little surprises – but I also like the idea of being an independent woman, I’m very proud of it actually.. My independence will eventually draw the right man, the one that’ll let me, let myself be taken care of, not because I can’t – but because my husband will know, and play his role.