Good day lovers and friends.. So I blatantly lied the other day.. Wednesday I think it was.. I said, I’d write a full post on Thursday, which I completely forgot about, and I don’t like writing on Fridays.. which brings us to Tuesday.. LOL!! I’m sorry.. I’m going to stop setting up expectations rather.. Well to quickly explain myself though, I had nothing much to write about.. I mostly write about whatever is going on in my life, and there’s nothing right now.. so I had to sit and think, and nothing came.. until, my boy came to visit me on Saturday.
Now, this dude has been my friend for well over a decade, he’s that guy in your life, that knows everything.. the William in Joan’s life type of set up.. He eats at my house, he sleeps over at my place, he’s that guy that calls at 2 AM to ask me a stupid question. Hell I’ve almost been dumped over dude.. and I know plenty of females in his life, that were not so happy about our friendship.. Anyway, back to my December.. I noticed that dude started acting funny out of the blue, he wasn’t calling, he’d avoid me like the plague, and he wasn’t inviting himself over to my food or space, I wasn’t bothered though, until I got drunk.. STILL – I wasn’t bothered, I was simply calling a friend I missed at 11pm, which is acceptable time considering what we normally do, and to my surprise.. some girl answers the phone.. So there I am thinking..
This haffer proceeded to ask me who I am, and I politely replied.. “____ FRIEND”.. Then she caught and attitude, mumbled some things, and dropped the phone on me. I texted her, and said ” Sweety, don’t ever drop the phone on me.. I’m not some side ho”.. She then called back FOUR BLOODY TIMES, and I finally picked up.. she said..”I didn’t drop the phone on you” and I said, “Apologies for my sms then” , then she asked “Who are you”,I replied ” I told you, I’m ____’s friend”..”I know all of _____’s friends” she snapped.. to which I said..”Evidently not”.. and still I’m left thinking..
This has little or no relevance to what I’m gonna write about, I just wanted to share what had happened to me. LOL.. Maybe she thought I was a booty call, or some ex.. whatever her reasons for trying to assert herself to the wrong one..I bet she hadn’t thought at all, that we had an emotional relationship.. Nothing romantic luckily for her sake, but in some instances – people get so caught up, and the line between what is acceptable and not becomes blurred. Today, I wanna speak about, emotional infidelity. A lot of people, don’t pay too enough attention to the emotional aspect of a relationship after years of being together, but rather get settled in a routine, they forget to talk, and remind each other of dreams shared, or promises made..”too many people try to make it last, rather than trying to make it work..” and that’s when you meet someone new, who may remind you of your man/woman when you first met. That new person may revive the spark you forgot you had, and may remind you of how cute new love is.. A lot more people also think that cheating is only when you take your clothes off, and fornicate with a stranger.. well that’s definitely not true.. A relationship is made up of more than orgasms..
The saddest part of a relationship, has got to happen right after you realise you and your partner no longer want the same things from life,they no longer excite or inspire you in any way. Sometimes, they may be going through stress of their own, and you may feel burdened, and your role changes from being lover and friend, to a worried mother or concerned sibling. Meeting people who seem to have their own lives in order, will make it seem as though, there is so much better out there for you..
It all starts out as a friendship, but the minute you start hiding texts, phonecalls, coffee dates.. THE MINUTE someone else is your first and last thought, your ass is having an emotional affair.. When your partner, no longer takes an active interest in your life, and you have someone outside who is supporting you, cheering you on, making you believe in yourself..you will end up falling inlove with that person, and whether or not you sleep with them, giving that responsibility *for lack of words* to them, makes them as valuable as the person you are in a relationship with.
We all deserve to be with someone who appreciates everything about us, cares about how we’re feeling, what we want and what we need.. all of what we need. It is so important to keep caring for a person, to keep interested, and to be there – when they need a friend.. The only way we can do this though, is through honest communication, and being honest to ones self, when you know you are in love with someone else – respect the person in your life enough to either protect them from that, or let them go.
Just like women freak out, *rightfully so*, over sexual misdemeanor, no man in his right mind, wants to see his woman smiling over what another man has been to her.. So keep your relationship between the two of you.. if your intention is to build, layer your foundation as honest open communication.. love is not meant to be shared by many.. and that said, coming into a relationship comparing everything to what you and your ex, will not yield any positive outcomes.. if you’re still inlove with your ex, don’t act like you’re ready to move on..
Now kids, go on and let your boo know their the only one for you.. Make the effort to learn more about them.. Keep the love thing real..