It’s been a record breaking 5 months since I posted a thought or 5.. I don’t know what to say..
I’ve read many a blog, where the authors apologise profusely for an inconsistency in posting, and promise to get back on track and maintain the writing. I was one of them, until I realised, I was being a liar. I cannot promise to always have something I think is worthy of saying, or something I think we’ll all relate to, truth is – sometimes *most times* I have very scattered thoughts, and it’s not always easy to put them down.
That being said – I can try.
The title of this post is “Life Jitters”.. You know when the bride/groom is about to make that all important commitment to stay with and love one person for the rest of their lives, and doubt fills their mind, and every possible reason why it won’t work suddenly makes sense, I feel that way about my life lately.
I’m 25 years old now, and I promise you, at 20 – I had a clearer vision for my life, a surety about myself, and a certainty about my success.. but now.
I’m not one to compare my growth to anyone else’s, I’m almost never jealous of other peoples success – but sometimes I do ask myself why my journey seems to have taken a detour.
I feel like I’ve reached a ceiling in this particular phase of growth, this job. I don’t enjoy it. The fear comes with the questions of what may happen if I leave?
The thing is, I know my capabilities, but these have come from experience, and not from theoretical studies, so what if I’m being too ambitious? These are type of questions hindering me from the excellence that awaits.
But we’ll see.
Besides all that, there are parts of my life that are so joyous. My best friend is with child, and I’ve never been one to like the little buggers, but for some reason – I am so excited about baby’s arrival.
I feel closer to my bestie, and just honestly feel like I’m appreciated and loved by her. She’s always supporting my decisions, and encouraging me to go for more. I love her. Her baby is bringing this whole new facet to our friendship, and I couldn’t be more proud, excited or joyous at the thought of loving her! 🙂
I’m happy now, I wrote everything down – I confronted my thoughts, and now I can work on them.
Have a wonderful day ladies and gents.
I love you all