How are you my family??

I’m not even going to state the obvious.. that it’s been months.. **I think I just did**.. but yeah.. I have no excuses.. I just did not have words. Nothing begging to be dealt with..nothing needing to be confronted.. infact my life has been pretty damn FLAT.
But that’s fine though.. I’m giving other children a chance to be fabulous.. 😀

So lastnight, millions of South Africans watched the Finale of an explosive series, in it’s 2nd season.. Intersexions.
It’s basically a conversation South Africans, refuse to have, or rather ACCEPT and understand.. it’s incredible.
If you know me, you know I love to talk.. I love to talk about things that make other people feel uncomfortable, I love to talk about the reality of consequences..
Yes I can be depressing, but I love it when people are HONEST, are responsible, and relish being a part of something real, something that builds.

The last time I wrote a post, it was about how easily we partake in unprotected sex, and I guess I didn’t come off the way I wanted, because Lesiba, asked this question..

“Hello Z…You saying I should not trust the person I am with…That regardless, in the long run she will give me Aids.Please explain to me how you came to that conclusion?”

If this how I come across, no.. I don’t think you should not trust your partner. I mean, what’s love without trust?
And I believe in love, I do.. but unlike most people, *not all* – I demand openness and honesty more than I crave companionship.

I’m not going to sit behind this computer and act like I’m a saint. Noooo, I’ve made mistakes.. big serious mistakes, that could have cost me my life, or opened doors to things I’m not ready for, like children, because there were instances were I was too afraid to just speak up. When I was too shy to “offend” someone, or stop the moment.. just a bunch of ridiculous reasons..
But they’re ridiculous now, when I look back, and am able to CONFRONT, and GROW from them.
I mean, I wasn’t some ho..never a ho! LOL!!
I’m trying to understand from other people, that are we realising that, repeated irresponsible behavior will lead to disaster..

Are we aware that, we are not exempt from the dangers that lurk out there? And if we continue to engage in certain behaviour, are we mature enough to accept our roles in the end result? Although those results may not be for the best?

I’m 24 years old, not so young, not nearly old.. I chose when I was 21 and in a regular sexual relationship, that I was going to be open with my man, that I was going to ask questions no matter how uncomfortable they were, or dimmed the idea of romance, because I was lucky enough to have friends that I could speak too..and a backbone.
There have been phases in my life, where I had told myself, “It’ just sex” , atleast I’m safe.. THANK GOD – I did not DO anything during those times, and anytime I felt in any way compromised, I walked away.

I want to stress something.. to the ladies especially.. It is NOT enough to KNOW what your “boyfriend” does when you are not around.. he might be open and honest enough to let you know that you are NOT the only one, but just play that back in your head.. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. Why would you settle for  number??  If he’s playing russian roulette with you, you’re playing russian roulette with your life.. it’s bound to go BANG!

It’s seldom just sex.. there are too many loose ends, and like I told my now ex boyfriend, “I am not after your heart forcefully, but if we are going to do this sex thing, then you need to respect me..and the MINUTE you decide I’m not enough, then I will gracefully let you go.. but do not ever cheat on me. Do not make me a fool, you have 0 right to jeopardise my health..” I ended things 3 weeks ago, when I asked him a question he didn’t WANT to answer. A simple question.. “Are there any other women, and are you safe with them?” I knew for a fact that he wanted to see other people, so I had to separate myself from him.. no fight, no insults, no anger, just silence from both of us. I’m grateful for the three years I had with him, but even more for the decision we took to always keep it safe with condoms between us.

Just don’t settle for something that you know in your heart, is less than what you want. There is no such thing as “salt”, and nothing will fall off if you just keep your legs together.. Until you find a man who demands the same things you do.
Stop making stupid excuses, like “Mistakes happen when you’re in a relationship”..I hear that one a lot. And stop being offended when people like me confront you on your decisions, reminding you that’s its not all roses..

And if you insist on not using condoms, then just test..regularly WITH your partner, make decisions you have complete info and knowledge on, and enjoy stress free sex.

All love..