I’m not going through anything.. I’m not hurt over anyone.. was just listening to the song..
Hello everyone.. happy Friday!
So excited to be finally resting! whooo! Anyway.. I was thinking hard about something earlier.. I was actually speaking to a friend, and we were addressing her fears.. and two years ago, I bought the book by Paulo Coelho, “The Alchemist”.. I’ve read the book several times over and I’m currently reading it again.. It’s amazing how much sense it makes.. I love it..
My understanding of what and God is, keeps growing and changing at almost every turn. When we were younger – we were made to believe that God is our maker, and our keeper.. this is still true. We were also made to fear God though, and after reading another book, I haven’t yet finished – it gave me a much clearer perspective on what reality could be.. A reality that God is a parent.. he has rules and laws, but understands that we’re children, and we will break them, but no parent will send you to eternal damnation because of that.. I’ve learnt so much from that same book.. the idea that hell is fictitious, and designed so that we may have something to compare God’s power to.. makes sense if you ask me..
My idea of God now stands as this.. God is everything.. God is everywhere.. he’s in our thoughts, in our ability, in our purest selves.. God is everything that feels good in your life.. God is when a song you thought about in the morning, but haven’t heard for years comes on.. That’s God..
Anyway.. with all the stress I’m currently going through, I just wanted to acknowledge that I feel God in me so much, it’s hard to ignore.. and for everyone going through a similar patch.. remember this.. He is all love.
Have a great weekend..
I care about how are you, I really hope you’re all well..
The day before yesterday, was incredibly hard for me.. I made the choice to share, a dark part of my life as I was going through it, and Lord – it helped.. I felt so much lighter after confronting the truth and releasing from my mind, and my heart, and my confinement.. it was the greatest form of therapy I could have ever had.. I feel lighter.. more in control and dare I say – so much happier than I have in a long time..
I watched the Beyonce documentary yesterday, and the Oprah interview today, now it wasn’t anything spectacular for people that weren’t ready to listen, and hear so much more than what she said.. I haven’t gone through the things Beyonce has, but I understood with more than my mind.. I felt everything through my body.. and it showed me a part of myself that I love with so much honesty.. a part of myself I respect.. and a part of myself – I’ve always hoped I show the world.. I’ve learnt so much today.. and I can’t possibly share it through words you know.. I tried to record myself speaking, and I was going to post that rather, but it was 15 mins of me in an absolute craze, and fascination with finding myself again.. so I didn’t want people to feel like I’m conceited and miss the whole point. Again.. I had to share in that moment what I understood my life and all it’s event’s with someone who’d get it.. so I sent this message to my friend.. ”
You know Mickey,
I was thinking today about my life, and I was watching Beyonce’s Doccie and her interview with Oprah, and everything she said – although I’ve never been through all of it, resonated with me. I watched, and it felt like the conversations that we have, because they always feel so necessary, and so so real. And I just wanted to tell you, we’re so lucky and fortunate to be able to have this relationship with each other.. and that sense of understanding we share, because we can be honest to each other.. it’s always felt good to have you in my life, but today it made Godly sense. I’m so thankful..”
And in saying that, I came to understand SO MUCH MORE WHY I NEED TO REMAIN IN THE PRESENCE OF PEOPLE WHO BUILD ME. People who understand me, and people who understand in a HIGHER SENSE what we are here to be.. and in that moment – I cried.. when it all made perfect sense..and it felt like only love mattered.. love for myself, my passion, my life, my understanding..my blessings.. I GOT IT. And it was a wonder, incredibly amazing.
Happy Friday things..:) Is everybody good? Horrible weather we’re having huh..well if you’re in a cold office meant to be working..like me.
I’m sitting here, eating my yum delicious fruit salad for breakfast, listening to Moneoa.. replaying the conversation I had with THAT somebody from my past.. you know – the somebody I wrote about here —>> https://mizzford.wordpress.com/2012/07/10/loved-and-lost-isibhanxa/
I’m kind of a bit disorientated.. We spoke well past midnight, and it’s all just a daze.. I hadn’t spoken to him for a while.. a genuine feat for me, but I’ve been missing him so badly of late, so I decided to call.. and in the true comedic script my life is written in, *breathes in* , I was met with shocking news that put a painful sharp finality to our chapter..
Ok let me give you a little back story, this guy..we’ll call him.. Mr Big, was my first experience of love and friendship all at once.. you know the great love of your life? That one guy that is a part of your every dream, your every prayer.. yeah, this is him. I met him 5 years ago, around this time.. I was a bright eyed young thing, not so sure of myself, and then there was this guy, who liked me.. He liked ME.. And he was this awesome awesome guy, and I fell.. I remember how we’d stay up just talking, sharing dreams, making plans..and even after circumstance had pushed us apart, the friendship remained.. he was still the somebody I know I had in my corner, my safety net, my plan.. For a very long time, Mr Big was my inspiration, my blessing.
People grow apart, and I guess that’s what had happened with us.. I haven’t seen dude in about 2, 3 years.. and before last night, we had not spoken for about 6 months. So last night, I plucked up the courage to call, and was met with a very surprised and shocked person on the other end.. his first proper sentence was – “Why would you call today of ALL days..” to which I replied, “it’s a Thursday, why what’s wrong?”.. and I was met with a “nothing”.. offcourse I was not going settle for that, so I probed until I found out the reason for my coincidental call.. He told me, his SON was born yesterday.
After the endless struggle with my heart and mind to push my pride aside, and reach out to the love of my life, God decides to play this huge joke on me, and make it the very same day he’s given, what was supposed to ours, to someone else? A child.. a whole living, breathing CHILD!!
It could have been anything else.. a pet, a couch, a plant, not a first chance of giving him a life.. I can’t give him that now. That’s the highest most purest part I think a part of me, still hoped to share with him, only him.I was Ok last night, almost indifferent.. but by the time I went to bed, it fell like someone had punched the air out of my stomach.. you know when you are not sure whether to cry, or shout and scream, or just let it all envelope you, that’s how I feel right now..
So what happens now? My friend seems to think that Mr Big is my enchanted love, and we’ll find our way back to each other.. A part of me can’t help but wonder.. but most of me knows that this is Mr God telling me, “I gave you the nagging feeling..the slight bump..and now it’s the CRASH, all cause you wouldn’t listen..” And I get it now.. well not really, I’m still wallowing in uncertainty about my real feelings.
Maybe it was silly of me to think he’d be in my forever.. yeah..it was.. Sometimes we want something so much, even when we think we don’t want it.. but we don’t know what to do with it, or take care of it, and just love it and appreciate it, that we realise how much more we could have done when someone else has it.. But most times we love something so much, and no matter how much faith and love you spare for it, it’s just not meant for you.. so you gotta let it go..
I’m listening to the perfect song right now, a perfect farewell, to my ideas, my plans.. “Time will bring the real end of our trial..one day there’ll be no remembrance no trace, no residual feelings within you, one day you won’t remember me.. your face will be the reason I smile, but I will not see what I cannot have forever, I’ll always love you, I hope you feel the same..” But this was very long lesson.. maybe I’ve finally learnt it off by heart.. Lord knows, I shouldn’t be here ever again..
Good morning darlings..
Hope everyone is feeling good.. it’s Friday so I think we’re all really excited to knock off later, and get to relaxing!! I’ve been drafting a post for about a week, and I’m struggling with putting my point across.. It’s titled “Men are not faithful creatures – and yours is not special”..I LOVE IT! LOL.. It’s not in the least bit offensive, just an honest opinion I have about relationships..
But for today I thought I’d go with something light, and frivolous since it is the weekend.. Was speaking to my best friend earlier today, about sex.. *what else*, and I got to thinking.. being in a relationship for as long as I’ve been – you get used to your somebody.. I know how my man makes love.. I love how my man makes love.. and sometimes – how we have sex! It can get routine, and I’m not ashamed to say that – I’m not a whore in bed.. infact before this man – I didn’t maintain relationships long enough to experience crazy sex.. I pretended to know what I was doing with the others, LOL..BUT I think I learnt with my man. Although there was this one guy.. hehehehe..*story for another day* ! I know a lot of women go through what I did.. so I thought I’d illustrate *well not me* – simple positions, that might impress your sir..
Actually guys, LOL, I’m not gonna write any captions cause it just feels too personal.. hai sorry! I’ll just post pictures? Deal..? Deal!!
So let me end today’s fun with this advice.. “Roll some weed, take a shot, and get a pornstar shot in!”
Good day lovers and friends..
How is everybody doing? It’s frustratingly cold today, and I’m so excited that it’s a holiday tomorrow! I’m gonna lay in bed all day and stuff my face with Chinese food!! 2nd day I’m craving Chow Mein, Springrolls and Pork Belly.. It must be the weather..So today, I got an email from Pretty, my friend – asking me random questions about if I’d take my ex back.. this is the ex that was written about a couple of posts back.. I did say he was thought to be the great love of my life.. The dude did play a big part in my life, for about 3 years.. and I stopped thinking about getting back together a while back.. I try not to think about it now.. it’s just a futile exercise, and thus my answer was, No.. I wouldn’t be interested in getting back together with him.. Reasons being I’m at a different place now, and I’d like to think I’ve grown, and need different things.. And I just don’t give a fuck about him anymore..
Before that though, I was pretty pathetic, yeah I was.. Every song that was sad and talking about heartbreak, was a reference to our relationship.. I used to call dude ALL THE TIME, and he never really reciprocated, or showed the same interest, I don’t know what I was thinking.. I really made a fool of myself.. Sometimes it feels like I was Drunk Texting him for three years.. oh and I used to do lots of that.. DRUNK DIALING was my thing! I’d call him up, and let him know how he was never gonna get anyone like me in his life, I guess he didn’t really want someone like me hey? lmao.. Not until I didn’t want him anymore.
Surprisingly, most women, no matter how well together they are, go through what I did.. When something ends so suddenly, we struggle to let it go.. Don’t argue, just accept.. I know my friends do.. hehehe.. One of them, did what I did.. she’d call a man who ignored her calls, with different numbers, and just frustrate herself even more, when he answered those that weren’t hers.. but the funniest thing looking back, is how she wanted to move provinces and start over.. the girl was 22 at the time, and she was prepared to uproot herself for a man.. mara..
It’s all good and well now, we’re over it.. but for a while, we did hope they’d come back.. Now I’m wondering why? Why we couldn’t be at ease with the fact that those bastards didn’t want us.. I’m a lot more honest with myself now, and have ACKNOWLEDGED and ACCEPTED why it wouldn’t work NOW – here’s why..
- Planes don’t fly backwards..
- He didn’t want me for 3 years – only in the 4th, not satisfied with HIS reasons..
- I can’t ever trust him to not repeat the things he did, thought and said..
- My value has increased..
- Nothing beats the first time, that dream is over..
So if you’re going through a breakup now, or can’t get over that man that has jilted you, remember – hearts don’t really break, it’s just your ego.. More than that, we’ve always said, “If people can divorce after 18 years, a mortgage, children and pets, we really can deal with just a guy”..
You can’t force anyone who doesn’t want to be a part of your life to stay, and honestly,how fun can it be trying to please someone who isn’t interested? Be careful that you aren’t in love with an idea.. or maybe with who they were, people change and you don’t wanna waste your life getting them back, only to find out they aren’t suited to you..you’ll resent them for something they can’t help..
I promised myself after that, that I’d never fall apart, just so someone can play hero and put me together again.. Not in this lifetime..
Have a warm evening..
Good morning lovers and friends..
How is everybody doing? How’s life treating? Are we inspired people? I can’t do anything if I’m not inspired hey.. but I’m moved by the smallest thing.. lately my obsession is with this Liberian Designers Handbags.. beautiful gorgeous, well made stuff.. It inspires me when I see young people doing well for themselves, and striving to deliver quality made, elegant and beautifully packaged dreams..
Anyway, I have this thing of getting really off topic, I know.. but I was trying to explain why I took so long to post the “Ghetto Commandments”.. it’s mainly cause I wasn’t inspired, but also cause I forgot what the commandments are.. LOL.. So I had to sit and think, and deliberate with myself and myself.. and finally got some..
One thing that builds and maintains any relationship, is a mutual respect love, that a couple shares.. respect goes beyond how you treat someone when they’re there, but also how you treat their choices, family and other relationships.. Respect is the common thread in all the commandments, and is never to be forgotten. A ghetto Girlfriend knows, that you treat your man like a man, and she would NEVER publicly humiliate or degrade her man, no matter how angry or irritated she is.. she never reveals any cracks that could show her man to be weak.. So you never call him out, or shout at him – he’s your man, NOT your child.. it also benefits you, to remain calm and composed, it cuts deeper when you get stuff of your chest, *later in private*.. Don’t Facebook or tweet YOUR business..
The Second Commandment is KNOWING WHEN TO KEEP QUIET..
As women we need to remember we are dating MEN, not GOD.. and there will be moments when he messes up.. and when these come to pass, you can’t be expected to address every single issue, and some things don’t even require a peep from you. For example.. If there is a girl he is getting friendly with, you approach him, and let him know, it does not sit well with you.. if the relationship ensues, and they get friendlier, you make it known that you KNOW.. but do NOT go further than that.. your man should KNOW to let it go, and if he doesn’t.. well that’s a different issue, and he’s probably gonna cheat on your ass.. Also know when to keep quiet when it comes to money matters.. If your man is making decent money and treats you well, do not say anything on his low days.. DO NOT COMMENT when his MOTHER needs something,you NEED that woman to like you one day.. and if the brother is cheap *why are you with him?*, but if your man knows you’re short on something serious *not hair or nails* , and doesn’t offer – make another plan, and if he asks where you got money to do whatever – just be like ” I made a plan”.. that should make wanna assert himself.. but don’t be a nag..
The Third Commandment is TO KNOW YOUR FRIENDS AS WELL AS HIS..
We’re girls, we’re gonna talk about our relationships, that’s a given..but you should NEVER EVER tell your girls something that will make them disrespect your man. There are people you can trust not to judge of course – but NOT the whole gang..So keep the sexual problems out of your girl talk.. You don’t need your friends to be a part of your COUPLE issues, understand that.. More than that though, no man wants to feel compared to other men, especially your ex’s and his friends, hold up on letting him know what great relationships you have with your male friends… Men feel threatened too easily.. and girrrl, know that your mans friends are not YOUR friends.. respect their relationship enough not to be discussing him with his friend, or maintaining contact behind his back.. No need to be missing them, going out with them or being any kind of friendly alright!
Alrighty dearest friends.. That’s all for today.. Hopefully I can write more tommorow..;-)
Keep well hey, have an awesome evening..
With Love Always
Good morning happy people!
Sorry I’ve taken so long to post this up.. Everytime I’m about to sit and write, something comes up! I really wasn’t cut out for a work life.. I’d rather be home doing what I love.. Anyway.. today we’re gonna chat a little about the Ghetto Man.. the partner to the Ghetto Girlfriend..
A lot of people diss my taste in men.. 😦 LOL.. Not men I date though *My babe is so far from being a thug..but I love him anyway* , just the characters I’m attracted to, mainly TV personalities, and I always try to see the potential in all other men.. lmao.. Taxi drivers are my particular weakness.. hahahaha!! BUT I DON’T DATE THEM!! Lets make that very clear.. I just think that men who work Blue Collar Jobs offer a lot in terms of love and commitment.. off-course these don’t matter, if you’re hungry or always fighting about money..
But the one thing that makes a Ghetto Man worthy, is that he is a Hustler of note.. he makes shit happen,and he doesn’t answer to anyone while doing it.. I’m all about educated people, but that doesn’t count if you’re not making money right? Ghetto men, don’t necessarily have a University Education, but their skill and talent, makes sure they’re way ahead of the the rest financially, and their always their own bosses. They respect money, and where it comes from.. and so they respect their work..
There’s also something very very hard, and MANLY about ghetto men.. their instinct to protect you is always on..They want to make sure you’re Ok all the time, security wise, emotionally and financially.. Ghetto men are all about taking care of theirs.. They NEVER complain when asked to do something, because this is a role they relish.. More often than not, it’s because they too were brought up in “Ghetto Situations” .. I’ve never met a Suburban Thug.. If they feel you’re threatened in anyway – they will take care of that problem..
Now don’t underestimate the ghetto man’s taste or finesse.. More often they’re cultured folk, because that’s why they acquire all this money.. to afford the best of everything.. He knows his difference between a Swatch Watch and a Hublot.. Drives the best cars, and lives in a beautiful home.. Everything is always up to standard, and he takes care of himself too.. sexy body.. smells good.. looks fine in the best quality threads..
The most important characteristics that a ghetto man possess’s are, that he is LOYAL, he is KIND, he RESPECTS you, he PROVIDES, he SUPPORTS you,he is HARDWORKING,UNDERSTANDING and he is GOOD to and FOR you! I almost forgot the most important one, he is GOD FEARING..
This is the man for me..
Hope everybody’s had a restful relaxed weekend.. It’s a bit cold in Johannesburg South Africa, but winter will be over soon enough.. In the meantime, we shall take advantage of warming wines, fattening soups and cute men to cuddle with.. 😉
A couple of months ago, I had a series of updates on my Facebook Page, titled a “Ghetto Girlfriend Rules”, and they were a particular hit among the ladies..LOL!! I think the one comment that stuck out most for me was, my version of ghetto is different from everyone else.. according to the Urban Dictionary, ghetto has been explained as the a fore mentioned “When someone is to be described as “ghetto” – it is used to describe that persons STATE OF MIND. “Ghetto” can be both a noun and an adjective. So, in this case, it is used as an adjective where white and Asian people can be just as “ghetto” as black people. Normally, this results from the poor living and upbringing conditions. “Ghetto” is a derogatory term used towards individuals who lack the standards of manners and ethics.”
I grew up in the “Hood”, and if you did too, you were probably surrounded by abo Dudu, Gugu, Nthabiseng, I think he equivalent of this in America, are the Shanaynay’s, Trina’s, and Mercedes’s, the hot neighbourhood ladies, who always have their hair and nails done, their outfits hot, and their money good, courtesy of some man.. there is nothing wrong with this, infact – I admire it.. because my ghetto ladies, only have this financial support from one man.. and in turn, they fulfill the role of a hard woman, who puts up with a whole lot of shit from this man.. and they “ride” for this man.. *definition of ride – staying true to one person, though thick and thin.. prepared to go to jail for, and worse – die for*..
The ghetto chick, see’s her man from nothing, and builds him into greatness.. and like all men, he’s gonna have all their faults, from cheating,to being locked up..*in extreme ghetto cases*, and just being down and out, but through it all – she treats him like a KING, makes him feel like a man, and plays her part by providing what she can.
Throughout this time, there are rules she must subscribe too, to keep a happy home and a sane mind.. And we shall discuss these over a 5 Part feature, titled “Ghetto Girlfriend Commandments”
Before we can do this though, I have to describe the “Ghetto Man”.. so we can set the scene for this, because not every man can handle or deserves the ghetto girlfriend..
Hope you like it.. 😉
Good afternoon beautiful people..
As always, I hope this finds you well, happy and at peace..
By now, you should have guessed that my posts are sporadic and there isn’t one theme, although the common thread is looooovvveee.. 🙂 I’m driven to write about whatever I’m experiencing at that very moment, and whatever thoughts that are then inspired..
Earlier this morning I tweeted that I needed a good song to cheer me up, and a friend – @LooonMoon *Somie* , suggested I listen to J.Martin ft Cabo Snoop – Good time.. Now unlike other cool children *YOU* – I don’t have DSTV.. *Sad I know*.. so I really don’t know much about African Music.. Apart from the obvious, I only google what people update and tweet on..
But anyway.. guys – what happened to me after I heard J.Martins sexy voice.. HAI SHEM!! That guy sounds so damn sexy.. He goes “You say that you want it, you say that you need it.. you say that you love what I do when I do what I know how to do..” he almost whispers it, and it’s like —->> Eargasmn right there.. So naturally, me being a woman..made of nerves and hormones, I started to imagine him and other sexy Northern African men doing what they know they do well..hehehe..
I’ve always wondered if these men are as sweet and as romantic as they seem to be.. the closest I’ve been to dating outside of South African, is limited to Johannesburg shop vendors who scream out “My Size” everytime I pass by.. 😦 *mentally slaps each one*.. but I’ve always been curious as to how true these stories of extravagant love are.. Apparently, North African men take care of their women.. They will cook for you.. take you shopping.. and make love to every.part.of.your.body.. *wipes drool*.. And I mean we can’t deny how sexy they are.. tall, well built, chocolate Adonis’s..
This is not to take anything from our South African men, mara it’s like you’re used to us you know..and these other men..oooh, it’s like we’re an exotic fantasy to them.. **I kinda got blank after posting that last pic.. hehehe..**
And I don’t know about you, but when I see Niger, Congolese and Ghanian Men.. I just read HUSTLER.. Now I don’t like hustlers, but I love money.. and these men make money.. Thats how they are so successful across the globe.. Success is so sexy, but staying African is sexier..
I think more than anything, that’s what make these men different.. the embrace of their culture.. The surety in their identity.. Distinctly African – worldly adaptable.. It’s just a pity Dbanj hasn’t met me..I bet I would have replaced Beyonce in the opening line of that Oliver Twist song!
Ok kids.. I actually have a real job I need to get back to.. lol.. Hope you enjoyed my mindless behavior..
Have a sexy day..